WHY BRIDGERTON SERIES 3 IS A MODERN LOVE STORY

Everyone talks about the “carriage scene” in Bridgerton or the sex scene between Penelope and Colin, but nobody talks about the empowering dialogue between Penelope and Colin at the end of series three.

Spoiler alert if you haven’t watched Bridgerton yet, but perhaps this is a good reason to go watch it, if you like these words:

“You are her. You always had one voice…  In truth I have been envious of you, of your success, of your bravery. And I simply cannot believe that a woman with such bravery loves me. How lucky I am to stand by your side and soak up even a little bit of your light.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to watch part two because it seemed to me, at least from what I saw in part one, that this series of Bridgerton was just all about endless ball scenes in beautiful gowns, conversations about the need of finding husbands, and raunchy scenes to keep the viewers engaged… but then I felt a nudge, a voice inside of me told me to renew my Netflix subscription and go watch it.

If I learnt one thing well enough is to listen to that inner voice when I hear it. And oh boy, I was so surprised to see that in the end Bridgerton is empowering women! Penelope finds the courage to speak up and after living in the shadows all of her life, she stands in the limelight and finds her voice in front of all the people who had always ignored her or belittled her. And in front of the Queen, she speaks her truth. 

As also previously mentioned in this series of Bridgerton:

“you can’t find true love if you are not true to yourself”.

This is a little gem of wisdom, because I firmly believe that if you wear a mask, if you pretend to be someone you are not, or if you deny parts of yourself to please and appease others, you are not being true to yourself. If people only get to see the facade or the image you want to portray within society, nobody can really get to know you. And if you are always playing the part of the good girl because you are afraid you will disappoint somebody, you’ll never live authentically. 

Being nice and being kind are not the same thing. If you’re being nice because you’re afraid that by expressing your feelings you will upset somebody, then you’re people-pleasing. And I have never met a people pleaser who is truly happy anyway.   

Penelope was going to stifle herself due to societal norms and because this is what her mother told her to do. If Penelope was lucky enough to have found a rich man who wanted to marry her, she had to spend the rest of her life pleasing him. In fact the actual words are “Your duty is to make Mr Bridgerton feel as if he is the most important person in the world. To cater entirely to your husband. His dreams, his wishes. At least at the beginning…” To which Penelope replies “what about my dreams?”. And her mother says “Ladies do not have dreams, they have husbands. And if you are lucky and you fulfill your role, sometimes what you wish for may come true… through him”.

This is how society was in the Regency era. Women had to comply and abandon themselves or their dreams to fulfill their duties, often leading them to suppress their true selves in order to be a righteous wife. And this is also why so many women suffered from depression back then. From Jane Austen to Virginia Wolf, many mental illnesses such as hysteria, anorexia and depression were diagnosed more frequently among women than among men. 

It’s a fact. If you suppress your emotions, if you abandon yourself in favor of only pleasing others, these pent up emotions will make you sick, mentally and physically. Emotions like anger, resentment and bitterness will poison the body if they are not released. And eventually these will poison the marriage too.

Imagine how Colin and Penelope’s marriage would have turned out if Penelope listened to her mother, stifled her voice and chose not to follow her dream of becoming a writer. How unhappy would she have been? And how unhappy her marriage would have been in the end too.

And what if Colin didn’t care if Penelope was truly herself and happy, as long as she was there to cater to his needs? What kind of a husband would he have been? Instead, he pronounced the above words to Penelope. He recognised her true value, her greatness and he was brave himself to speak those words to her. Those are not the words of a weak man. To admit that he was jealous of her writing skills and her success requires self-awareness and honesty. He was vulnerable and opened up to her too. Vulnerability requires strength. 

A weak man would have stifled Penelope’s voice and dreams in fear of feeling inferior to her. Instead, Colin tells her that he sees her light and doesn’t intend to dim it. If a man is secure within himself, he won’t have any reason to silence his wife’s voice or diminish her aspirations. He would be happy to bask in her light. He doesn’t need her to be in the shadow so that he can be in the light. They can both share the light!

Bridgerton series three really surprised me in the end. It’s deeper than I thought it was going to be and I’m glad I watched it because it inspired me to write this blog post.

Expressing your creativity is so important for your wellbeing and happiness. Don’t stifle yourself for anybody. Have the courage to be truly yourself and live life on your own terms. It’s your life, you decide how you want to live it. It doesn’t matter if you disappoint your parents because they wanted you to be someone else, or if they had other ideas about how your life should turn out. You are the one living it!

What makes you feel truly fulfilled? What brings you joy? Discover what you are passionate about and follow those dreams. If you are stuck in your comfort zone and you no longer know what you want out of life, or you feel you need a change but you’re not sure how to bring in that new beginning, get in touch with me for a 30 minute free coaching conversation.