Tinker Bell and The Princess and The Pea have this one thing in common

As a child I identified myself with Tinker Bell because I could see that, just like her, I was getting offended quite easily and I’d pull up a face or I’d get grumpy if someone said or did something which upset me. I’d become angry but I was a good child, I knew I was, but because my emotions were really strong, people used to tell me I was temperamental or moody.

In hindsight, I was reacting in that way because I was triggered more easily than other children, my emotions were difficult to contain and I’d just burst out. And so, the people around me would think I was having tantrums or that I was exaggerating. I used to be told I was too dramatic because of my reactions to events or situations.

And then I recently had another epiphany… Tinker Bell is a highly sensitive fairy!

She’s beautiful, quirky, funny and powerful in her own little way. If only she could manage triggers and emotions, or convey her powers in a more productive way, she’d be a much more powerful fairy. But her sensitivity is also what makes her unique and wonderful at the same time.

One of my favorite princesses, when I was little, was the Princess and the Pea because despite all those mattresses she could still feel the pea. Everyone around her was thinking she was exaggerating. People were wondering why she had all those strange demands. They wouldn’t understand what she was on about.  “What’s wrong with her?”, that’s what they would think. But she was right! There was a tiny pea which was disturbing her sleep… I totally got what she meant.

The Princess and the Pea is the story of a highly sensitive princess!

Highly sensitive people feel things that the majority of people can’t feel and they must be comfortable in their environment. HSPs especially love their bed, that’s where they retreat and recharge if they feel over stimulated.

It’s so important that you feel comfortable in your environment because then you can thrive. If you can’t sleep because your bed is uncomfortable, your house is noisy or your bedroom is too bright, you’d be very grumpy the next day. And then you’d only need someone to say the wrong thing to you and you’ll become Tinker Bell again!

If you don’t want to feel grumpy or upset, then you must look after yourself, your physical and emotional health. Your home environment should feel cozy to you so that you can thrive and be happy.

You need to feel good in your body and in your mind. And you do that by taking care of your own needs, by living in a nice and tidy environment, by sharing your life with like-minded and supportive people who can help you grow and expand. You don’t need to be around people who will judge you or put you down.

You must feed your body with nutritious food and your mind with healthy information. Stay away from upsetting news that you don’t need to hear. Stay clear from negative people because you can absorb their energy if you’re not careful or if you are around them all the time.

You need to stop people-pleasing because that’s a form of manipulation. You can’t please everyone. But if you just go about your business, if you’re happy with who you are, if you follow your dreams and you cultivate your passions, then you will be a well rounded person and you’ll find that the majority of people will like you anyway. And without seeking their approval or validation! People will like you for you, and you would’ve attracted them just by doing what you love, without caring about what anyone else would think of you.

What you’re doing with your life is your business! It’s your life. Live it as you want it. You don’t have to fit in anyone else’s mold. In order to be happy you don’t have to do what everyone else does, the 9 to 5 job, the husband-two kids-and-a-mortgage thing. 

Freedom is my number one value. Love and fun are number two and three. These are my top three values and I live my life accordingly. I don’t like to be in a cage. I want to feel free to accept any work that resonates or makes me feel excited. I like to go out or stay in as I please. I eat when I’m hungry and I socialize when I feel like it. 

I know some people might judge me for this or they will think I’m selfish, but I’m happy like that. This is how I look after myself and my own needs, but I’m not egotistical. I also look after other people’s pets and their children if they need it, or I’d do a food shop for friends if they’re ill, for example. I care about the people in my life.

I’ve been working as a support worker and as a coach I help people as part of my job. But if I don’t look after myself and my own needs, if I’m not feeling strong and happy, then I can’t help my friends, my family and my clients. 

If I was feeling drained by a 9 to 5 job that didn’t inspire me, if I had to pay a mortgage I couldn’t afford because I need to live in a nice area where my kids can go to school and be happy, I wouldn’t have any energy to spend with my children. Actually, not having children is the most selfless thing that I could possibly do, because I know that kind of life won’t make me happy. I love children too much and I wouldn’t want them to be around an unhappy mum. I think children deserve the best and I wouldn’t be my best self if I was drained by the life I live. I made my choice and I’m happy with it. If people will judge me for this, it’s their problem not mine. I just live life on my own terms.

But not all highly sensitive people are the same. We have different personalities, core values and beliefs because we are different people! And so you might enjoy your 9-5 job and the security it gives you, or being a mum could be your calling. What you need to know is what your calling actually is, and then follow it because that’s where happiness lies.

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PS. The child in the photo of this blog post is me, and my dad took that snapshot. Photography was his hobby.